Intervention is essential for adolescents

Dear Mar­i­ann: My teenage daugh­ter has declin­ing grades and I’ve noticed that alco­hol in my cab­i­net is miss­ing, how can I approach her with this problem?

Mariann’s Response: My guess is that her “declin­ing grades” are directly related to your sus­pi­cion of alco­hol usage and the time for action was the moment you noticed a short­age from your liquor cab­i­net. Early inter­ven­tion con­cern­ing poten­tial sub­stance abuse or any men­tal health issue for ado­les­cents is essential.

Start­ing a dia­logue with her about the two com­po­nents you men­tioned should occur in a non-threatening tone. Ask­ing her directly in a per­ceived accusatory tone about the depleted liquor cab­i­net will prob­a­bly result in a denial and a com­plete shut-down of conversation.

Instead, eas­ing into the dis­cus­sion first with pos­i­tive affir­ma­tions that you care, love and worry about her will show that you are a con­cerned par­ent who wants to be involved in her life. How­ever, let­ting this sub­ject slide, espe­cially at her age, could have dire life-long con­se­quences for your daugh­ter with the poten­tial of legal ram­i­fi­ca­tions if she is caught drink­ing and dri­ving, is charged with con­sum­ing alco­hol while a minor or con­tribut­ing to the delin­quency of other minors. So a con­ver­sa­tion must occur.

Since your daugh­ter is a minor and I pre­sume still liv­ing with you, a large dose of “tough love” is now nec­es­sary. Does she have a much-needed cur­few? What are the para­me­ters for her stay­ing in the house alone espe­cially after school when you are pos­si­bly still at work? Do you know her friends? Where do they go for enter­tain­ment and what are they doing? Find­ing the source of who is influ­enc­ing her to drink is impor­tant since other teenagers might be headed down the same destruc­tive path due to this per­son and con­tribut­ing to the delin­quency of other minors, not just your daughter.

Next, it is impor­tant to talk with her school coun­selor or school inter­ven­tion spe­cial­ist about both her per­ceived alco­hol usage and declin­ing grades. An inter­ven­tion spe­cial­ist is a mental-health pro­fes­sional trained in sub­stance abuse and other teenage behav­ioral issues who works directly with at-risk stu­dents within a school dis­trict. Big Wal­nut Schools has my friend, Joey Thomp­son, as their inter­ven­tion spe­cial­ist, while other local dis­tricts have their own. Ask­ing that your daugh­ter be ran­domly tested at school for alco­hol or other sub­stances is nec­es­sary to ensure sobri­ety, or using an “at-home” test your­self is a sec­ondary option. If usage is dis­cov­ered, an inten­sive out­pa­tient or pos­si­ble in-patient treat­ment at an adolescent-specific facil­ity for drug and alco­hol abuse would be the next step.

Tak­ing pre­ven­ta­tive and sup­port­ive steps, such as remov­ing all alco­hol from your home and lim­it­ing your own alco­hol usage are essen­tial. If your daugh­ter is an ado­les­cent alco­hol abuser, it is not just “her prob­lem,” it is impact­ful to the entire fam­ily unit, which mer­its coun­sel­ing for every­one in the home. Should this not be finan­cially fea­si­ble, please attend Al-Anon meet­ings, find a church that offers low-cost coun­sel­ing, or apply for men­tal health ser­vices through your local county. Sev­eral Delaware and Mor­row County agen­cies receive fund­ing through the Delaware-Morrow County Men­tal Health Recov­ery Ser­vice Board for the pur­pose of assist­ing area res­i­dents with eco­nom­i­cal coun­sel­ing services.

Address­ing this prob­lem early in your daughter’s life will allow her to avoid such a down­ward spi­ral and a poten­tial of near-lifetime con­se­quences for her early mis­guided choices.

Mar­i­ann Main is a licensed coun­selor and a Delaware native. Her col­umn appears weekly on Sat­ur­days. To sub­mit a ques­tion and have Mar­i­ann answer it anony­mously, visit delgazette.com/life-questions-with-local-answers or send mail to the Delaware Gazette office, 40 N. San­dusky St., suite 203, Delaware, OH 43015.

Posted by Mariann Main on Nov 9 2012. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS Feed. Comments can be made below.