The Delaware Gazette » Mariann Main

The pros and cons of online dating

Mariann Main — Wed, 22 May 2013 03:41:56 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: Several of my friends want me to try on-line dating. I am hesitant due to the impersonal aspect of it by using the internet. Should I go with their advice and enroll?

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Neighborhoodly considerations for all

Mariann Main — Wed, 08 May 2013 04:02:57 +0000

COLUMNIST COMMENTARY: It is with great delight that spring has sprung after what seemed to be one of the longest and snowiest winters in memory. Now that we are no longer held captive inside by cold temperatures and hazardous roads, my column targets neighborly relations and the ongoing hostilities that can convert a cul-de-sac into enemy territory. For the sake of your neighborhood or subdivision, please take a moment to consider if you are a contributor or a detractor to your residential area. The following is a list of the most common complaints I receive, summarized into one column.

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Sex life nearing extinction

Mariann Main — Thu, 02 May 2013 03:59:15 +0000

Husband despairs at loss of intimacy.

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Territorial spouse causing major concern

Mariann Main — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 03:22:30 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: When my wife and I married a few years ago, I moved into her house and sold mine. Even though we have separate bathrooms, my wife becomes irate if mine is not kept perfectly. If I hang my towel over the shower rod, she will take it down and throw it in the shower, making it wet and unusable. I do not go into her bathroom so why does she think it is ok to come into mine?

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Husband weary from being a human atm for wife

Mariann Main — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 03:08:56 +0000

Financial disagreements can cause marriage trouble.

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‘Dating’ pros and cons

Mariann Main — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 02:40:31 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: My husband and I have separated twice, most recently for the last ten months after being married 15 years. We had little contact during this time, and I have no idea of where he is now living, but he called several days ago asking me “on a date” for Saturday night. I accepted, but am having second thoughts.

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Being a good neighbor proves to be a delicate matter

Mariann Main — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 23:12:07 +0000

Allowing someone to borrow something is a choice, not a requirement.

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Try to find mutual benefit in hobbies

Mariann Main — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 04:28:18 +0000

My husband has become an avid motorcyclist. We are in our 60s, with each of us having grown kids. But, I am still concerned about his safety, especially when he goes on long trips. He becomes mad when I worry. Do I say nothing?

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‘Unplugging’ can be beneficial

Mariann Main — Wed, 13 Mar 2013 04:10:20 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: My teenager cannot go anywhere without her smart phone. When I ask her to “unplug” she becomes irate and says that “all of her friends can use their devices anytime and anywhere they want.” Am I old-fashioned?

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Nonchalant sister frustrates brother

Halley Miller — Wed, 06 Mar 2013 04:37:25 +0000

Woman makes her brother feel like an afterthought.

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Mother seeks help for daughter’s relationship choices

Mariann Main — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 03:51:52 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: My 19-year-old daughter has been in a relationship with a young man who treats her poorly. She breaks-up with him, but inevitable they reconcile. I have expressed my view to her often that she deserves better, but without much success. What to do?

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Breaking the sugar addiction

Mariann Main — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 02:39:51 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: Since my marriage 20 years ago, I have gained 70 pounds. Multiple diets have failed and my downfall seems to be sweets. Is it possible to be addicted to sugar?

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Suggestions for a more meaningful Valentine’s Day

Mariann Main — Wed, 13 Feb 2013 04:17:45 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: What can I do that is unique for Valentine’s Day? I have been married for many years and this holiday has fallen into a rut for us.

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Why do today’s youth seem so unhappy?

Mariann Main — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 03:37:11 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: After watching young adults, mostly teenagers or college-age youth seem to rarely smile, come across bored, and have minimal enthusiasm for life. “Nonchalant” is the best word I can use to describe what I observe. Why is this?

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To Facebook or not to Facebook

Mariann Main — Tue, 29 Jan 2013 23:54:07 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: Most of my family and friends are now on Facebook, and I am feeling pressured to venture into this form of social online relations. However, I hear a lot of horror stories about people misusing it while others tell me that Facebook can be a great way to stay in touch with family, friends, and meet new people. How do I make a decision about this?

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Asking tough question should be handled with care

Mariann Main — Wed, 23 Jan 2013 01:40:05 +0000

READER’S QUESTION: A new social acquaintance of mine has a very visible physical deformity. It does not seem to limit her ability to function nor does it diminish her engaging personality. I am unsure of how to act around her especially since I do not know her well. Should I ask her about it or just keep avoiding the subject?

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Playground inattentiveness equals inevitable disaster

Mariann Main — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 01:42:08 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: Recently I have noticed the increasing number of “play areas” for children, especially at shopping malls and several fast-food restaurant locations. Since these are not supervised by a mall worker or restaurant employee, it alarms me to see so many kids unattended. What is your advice to parents regarding this?

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Neighbor seeks help with rude dog owner

Mariann Main — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 20:21:15 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: We have a lot of neighbors who own dogs, and most all of them seem to be responsible about picking up their waste as the animal and owner walk nightly. However, it is becoming increasingly obvious that at least one such dog walker disregards the common courtesy of clean-up, with a regular deposit in my yard from a rather large dog. Any suggestions as to how we as a neighborhood might address this problem? The evidence is obvious, but the culprit is not.

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Neighbor seeks help with rude dog owner

Mariann Main — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 17:16:12 +0000

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Commentary on 2012, life resolutions for 2013

Mariann Main — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 03:46:29 +0000

Unquestionably 2012 was a challenging year, starkly confirmed by newly-released American Red Cross statistics. The organization responded to 113 large-scale disasters in 42 states and U.S. territories through Dec. 1, 2012. My appreciation for this long-enduring service organization has increased exponentially. Primarily staffed by volunteers who often travel long distances from home for extended time providing aid to those felled by tragedy, it was founded in 1881 by American philanthropist Clara Barton. Our nation has endured hell this year. Thankfully the majority of us survived, even though we are potentially impacted forever by several of these heartbreakingly memorable events.

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Mental health key to avoiding another Newtown

Mariann Main — Sat, 22 Dec 2012 03:55:08 +0000

The Grinch has stolen Christmas this year. I have lost all enthusiasm for lighting the tree, decorating, or wrapping gifts as in years past. My heart is broken from the Dec. 14 event in Newtown, Conn. I remember exactly my late-afternoon location when first hearing news of this catastrophe, adding to my collection of memories for history-making, mostly tragic occurrences.

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Can an 11-year-old be gay?

Mariann Main — Sat, 15 Dec 2012 02:53:42 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: This past week, our 11-year-old son told us some children at school had called him “gay.” He is hurt that his classmates are calling him this, but we are not even sure he knows the implications of this term. Our son seems so young and innocent to us. How do we handle this with him and with the school, without blowing it out of proportion?

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Eyesore rental home causing neighborhood strife

Mariann Main — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 03:48:31 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: We live in a nice neighborhood, but have a rental property on our street where the resident seems to miss the point that front and side yards are for landscaping, not piled with trash and used furniture. We don’t want to cause a stir, or seem judgmental, but we would like to approach this neighbor, or her landlord, to express our concern. What’s the best way to do that?

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Inconsiderate employee leads to fuming customers

Mariann Main — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 03:19:13 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: I am a salon owner with several stylists and am proud of the reputation I have built with an established clientele. One of my staff has become lax in work ethic, often running behind schedule and keeping customers waiting. How do I approach this without alienating this employee?

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Fewer holiday obligations can bring a merrier Christmas season

Mariann Main — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 23:33:12 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: Every year I dread the holidays more, especially as I have entered middle-age. The monetary expectations to give gifts, host parties, over-decorate and shop at crowded malls has become overwhelming. What can I do to regain my enthusiasm for what was once a joyous season?

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Convenience shouldn’t trump common courtesy

Mariann Main — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 05:20:34 +0000

Dear Mariann: Last month, I was attending Sunday morning church service. A man in the pew directly in front of me answered his ringing cell phone and rather than exiting the sanctuary to take the call, engaged in conversation right there in his seat during the midst of the sermon. Your thoughts, please.

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Intervention is essential for adolescents

Mariann Main — Sat, 10 Nov 2012 01:01:35 +0000

Dear Mariann: My teenage daughter has declining grades and I’ve noticed that alcohol in my cabinet is missing, how can I approach her with this problem?

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Communication problem may be ADD

Mariann Main — Sat, 03 Nov 2012 02:26:20 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: Can adults be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)? My 42-year-old husband and I have major communication issues primarily due to his inability to listen when I am telling him something important. He hears the first few words and then seems to “tune out.” What can I do besides nag at him for his inattentiveness?

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Communicate ‘big picture’ strategy to your child

Mariann Main — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 22:53:38 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: “How do I motivate my 12-year-old to study when she always seems bored in school and lacks interest in her classes?

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Bombarded with political ads: Guide to staying sane

Mariann Main — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 00:46:48 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: How do I stay sane during this continuous campaign bombardment of political ads?

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Post-divorce relationship reshuffling with ex’s family

Mariann Main — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 22:12:32 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: After several decades of marriage, it ended a few years ago. During that time I was always very close to one of my ex-spouse’s family members. Now suddenly that has changed and I am saddened by the loss. What can I do?

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Find help when fighting depression

Mariann Main — Sat, 06 Oct 2012 01:36:20 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: Is depression hereditary? MARIANN’S RESPONSE: As with many diagnoses specific to mental health, there is a genetic component, including that for depression. Anyone with a parent or relative who has depression, or suffers from bi-polar disorder, substance abuse, schizophrenia, or a gamut of anxiety-related disorders, can inherit that same psychological make-up.

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Husband reaches his limit with 4-legged roommates

Mariann Main — Fri, 28 Sep 2012 20:47:09 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: My spouse had several pets when we married and I knew what I was getting into since she is an avid animal lover. I am now finding that I can’t tolerate so many of them since there is residual fur on furniture and clothing. The cats get into cabinets and tear open food packages, along with the litter box odor. Friends say they don’t want to visit or ride in our cars because of the smell and fur. Your thoughts, please.

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Dealing with a ‘borderline’ mother-in-law

Mariann Main — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 01:13:11 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: My husband’s family and I think that my mother-in-law has borderline personality disorder. She can be very difficult to deal with and has cut herself off from us since my husband and I married five years ago. Is there any good way to suggest that she get some mental health help?

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Delaware family in need of intervention

Mariann Main — Fri, 14 Sep 2012 21:22:23 +0000

Dear Mariann: Can you help with a situation involving a troubled teenage child with a potential addiction issue, a father who is emotionally absent, and a mother who has quit her job and is giving 100 percent to the situation? Your thoughts please, Mariann …”

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Seek out help to deal with bullying at school

Mariann Main — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 01:44:01 +0000

DEAR MARIANN: I am constantly bullied at school to the point that I want to end my life. I’m embarrassed to talk to my parents about this. Where should I go for help?

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Reclaim your life to help with job stress

Mariann Main — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 23:29:29 +0000

Dear Mariann: What are some ways to deal with high-stress jobs?

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Devoted life mate seeks more balance with husband

Mariann Main — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 00:14:45 +0000

Dear Mariann: My husband has lots of things to do outside the home and I have little to do outside the home. I don’t want him to rid himself of his hobbies/interests just for me so I can more enrich my balance of life, but, I do need him around more as life is so complicated with all the technology. How can we have more time together? I do insist on caring for my own home, but it takes many hours a day to do it right.”

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New Gazette column allows readers to get ‘Local Answers to Life’s Questions’

Mariann Main — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 01:39:30 +0000

Starting a new venture is both thrilling and simultaneously terrifying. So as the latest addition to The Delaware Gazette’s LifeStyle columnist staff, here begins a different chapter in my life, using my Ohio State undergraduate journalism degree and combining it with my training as an Ohio-licensed professional counselor. My goal is to provide you, the reader, a local forum for addressing life’s challenges or the need for a referral to various community resources, anonymously addressed in this newspaper.

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Submit a question

Mariann Main — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 01:12:03 +0000

Click here to submit a question to Mariann Main

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